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16 USB Hubs to Hate or Hug |
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by R J Evans, Jul 21, 2008 |
USB hubs now come in many shapes and sizes. Here, take a look at some you will love and some you will hate, with a few that will simply leave you scratching your head. |
Your Dinner's Ready, Blanche!
I am not quite sure what all the ingredients are supposed to be here, but I am fairly sure I wouldn't like this presented to me as my supper. If music be the food of love, play on, but please let me cook my own in the future. A variety of USB Flash drives of various shapes and sizes, including prawn in breadcrumbs and what looks like a vanilla desert plug in to a mound of rice. I won't even venture a guess as to what the brown thing is in the middle.Cyclops Dog
This could work! If you are too poor or too mean to buy any of the cute Japanese robot dogs that actually bark and move then this may be the next best thing. The LED in the middle of the one-eyed pooch's head glows in a most satisfying way but if it freaks you out you can pull the head off its little body. Not just for those who wish to be cruel to electronic pets, the head then converts in to an AM/FM radio. The four USB ports are situated on either side of the dog's torso, which could be a tight squeeze if you are going to stick prawns or vanilla deserts in to it.Get Your Motor Running: Head Off to the (Super) Highway
Again, the ports may be a little too close together but there is no denying the cleverness of this Japanese design. If you used to dismantle motorcycle engines on your m other's dining table in your youth then this could serve as a gentle reminder of hairier, sweatier and greasier days. Plus (oh yes, there is a great big plus) this baby actually rumbles in to life when you turn it on. Plus you can use the throttle and get all sorts of different noises out of it that (almost accurately) reproduce the real thing. A hub for boys who like their toys.Tardis-tastic
If you are a fan of the long running BBC TV science fiction show that purports to be for children but is loved by everyone, you may want to consider having this sat on your desk. It's an extremely cute reproduction of the Doctor's time and space machine, the TARDIS and yes it does make the spooky dematerialization noise when you plug in your USB. Four ports, but again very close to each other, dang nabbit. Bendy Guy
This little guy does two things. Firstly he is reminiscent of a gingerbread man and as such is really cute. Secondly, the ports are situated at his extremities (well, some of them). His arms and legs are separated each other by a sufficient distance that you can use all four ports at once, almost regardless of the shape of the USBs you are going to stick in him. Plus, when he is working he has a little green heart that flashes for you for that extra cuteness that is hard to resist. One for Doctor Evil
I think any crazed megalomaniac anti-social would-be dictator would love this in their Christmas stocking, bless them. It has four ports at the back and - as you can see - several switches you can aimlessly turn on and off. Of course, there is the central destruct button that, when pressed, will wipe your hard drive and set off a small nuclear device that will devastate your work space and an area around it of approximately five kilometers. Only joking. It screams “Kill, Kill, Kill!” when pressed, which may be a tad disappointing but is better than the original effect I described. Unless you're having a really, really bad day at work. Cake! Give me Cake!
If the recipient of your Christmas gift is of a fluffier nature altogether then you could go for this Christmas cake to include as a stocking filler. My only issue is the strawberry USBs that go with it - I would lose them before Christmas dinner. Plus, are strawberries in season at that time of year? This aside, I don't think that much due care and attention has been paid to the icing. I mean, where are the little silvery spheres that go crunch in your mouth?The Cube Tube
A simple idea, very well executed. Four ports, each on their own primary colored cube which can swivel so that no matter the size and shape of your USBs you should be able to get four in here. One disadvantage I can see is that you have small children they may well mistake them for building blocks and start putting them in their voracious little mouth. If plugged in this could lead your child to having some hair raiding experiences. What larks.The Cable Kid
This is a very strange looking gadget looks as if it might have more uses than simply being a USB and firewire hub. If it was available in black it would look like something out of one of the Hellraiser films. Or is that just my rather perverse imagination? This gizmo aims at the “flaunt the imperfection” end of the market. If you have tried - and failed - to hide all those dangling wires than this emphasizes them and brings them to the fore. It also has a number of attachments including a light and a fan. If you find this appealing rather than appalling this may be the hub for you!Tape Dispenser
Something that has a “useful” use, rather than being simply decorative or just plain silly, you may want this hub if you send out a lot of packages - and need to look up names and addresses from your computer because your printer has run out of label stickers. The idea is good but the ports are so close to each other you would either need an extension cable (yet another piece of kit lying around) or some really slim USBs. A neat idea, but the final execution leads something to be desired.Electrocuting Nemo
This rather cramped looking Clown Fish may or may not be the eponymous hero of a certain animated movie of a few years back, but you can see the attraction if you're not offended by keeping animals in captivity. OK, I know it's not real, but this chills me a little and I do not mean in a Fonz kind of way. One bonus though, the fish bowl changes colour, going through four. The fish must think it is on some sort of psychedelic trip, the poor love.Design Time
If the wiry gadget above looks like it could be from a horror film then this goes one step further. It is a strange cubic affair, some way between a Borg cube and an ancient artifact. It looks like it may flip open at any moment and release something unspeakable to devour mankind. Others may not be as spooked by it as I am but for sheer aesthetics, this has to be one of the best in this list.Ladybug Swinger Party
This hub reminds me of a group of electronic Ladybugs - possibly doing unspeakable things. The star design here is perfect for those of you with oversized USBs. The “ladybugs” can twist, turn and rotate around one hundred and eighty degrees. The sharp colors also mean that it will attract attention and comments at your workstation, which may be just what you need to get that co-worker you have been meaning to ask out over to your desk. Or not.Another One for the Megalomaniac in you
If that co-worker turns you down then things could get nasty. What better way to express your feelings at being jilted at work with this great little rocket launcher. The four port USB fires three foam rockets at the object of your ire. It also comes with software that allows you to angle the direction in which the rockets will fly and a virtual launcher that will keep you laughing maniacally until you stop.Pirates Ahoy!
What is the letter with the longest entries in the Pirate Dictionary? Why, it's “R” of course (think about it)! This little guy - from Japan again - is placed in the barrel and then you can pop in the knives until he squeals and pops out of the top with a rather blank look and bemused grin on his face. It looks rather cheap, unfortunately, and I am afraid I would probably use the knives for other purposes (like mock stabbing my hamster for example) and then lose them. However, it would keep a child with a low attention threshold happy for seconds so it may be worth the money.Mouse Attack
If you like the idea of plastic multi-colored rodents on your desk then you probably use a PC. If however, one is not enough, then you could consider building a mouse-quarium (love the English language, so flexible!). These little guys have a port in each of their feet. I just imagined what the pink one would look like with the strawberry USBs (from the Christmas cake above) inserted where his toes should be. Strawberry mouse anyone? Ouch!
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